Enforcing computer/video game limits
August 26th, 2008 / 4 Comments
“If I keep asking and asking and asking, eventually my mom will give in.”
Kids have an innate ability to manipulate their parents to get what they want.
When it comes to allowing them to play computer/video games, we as parents are most vulnerable to giving in.
We set time limits and consequences, but somehow, our kids know to get the best of us and break our resolve.
“Just 5 more minutes.”
“I just have to finish this level.”
“Wait, I’m almost finished. I just have to save the game.”
We simply get tired of the fight.
Here are some reasons why we give in:
1. We hate to be the bad guy every minute. It’s not that we never say No to our kids. We are used to saying No to staying out late or buying an extravagant toy. But with computer/video games, it’s a constant every day, every hour battle, not an occasional No. It’s no fun being a policeman at home every minute.
2. We hate to see our kids unhappy. We know we can’t make our kids happy all the time. But with computer/video games, our kids get so irritable when they don’t get to play. They are mope around restless, and then become so alive when they get to play. The addictive nature of the games produces those kinds of emotions in our children.
3. We rationalize our decision to let them play. After all, they could be doing worst things, right? At least they’re not on drugs.
4. We rationalize their behavior. After all, they finished their homework, they are getting good grades. They deserve to have some down time.
5. We like the peace. Honestly, the house is quiet and peaceful when the kids are playing computer/video games. They don’t bother us, they’re not fighting with each other, they don’t even need snacks when they’re playing video games. We can get several hours of free time when they’re playing their games.
Life would be so much easier for us if we simply give in to our kids and let them have their games.
But I encourage you to do the hard thing. Enforce the time limits and even take away the game system completely if you have to. Game addiction is a very real thing that we as parents have to contend with on a daily basis.
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Comments
Our kids see us as slot machines. We must never pay out.
Before being a parent, it sounds so easy to just say no. Although video games are a long way off, I can see now why it is such a challenge.
Writer Dad: Excellent way to describe it!
Stationery Guy: it’s a bigger challenge as your kids get older!
I had a lot of trouble enforcing time limits for all the reasons you mention above. I built and now use a simple timer program that lets me set time limits (like 1 hour/weekday and no more than 30 minutes at one sitting). The program gives the kids audible reminders like “5 minutes left” and logs them off when their time is up. It has ended all the fighting over computer time in our house, and I feel like a better parent for using it. Now I have to explicitly take action to give the kids time rather than to take it away. You can try my software to enforce computer time limits. It’s called “TimesUpKidz”. Let me know if it helps you and what you think of it.
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