Parenting kids in the age of the internet
October 27th, 2008 / 4 Comments
I just received a couple of great comments from Joey, a mature 14-year-old with some great insights on parenting. You can see his comments on my post on “Get your kids off the computer without nagging” and “Video game addiction.”
Joey’s comments are a great lead into my post today.
I was interviewed by Aurelia Williams on the topic of “Parenting kids in the age of the internet.” I address the issues that Joey raised about how parents need to understand why kids are on the computer so much. Click here to go to the podcast.
There is much more that has to be said on this topic. I recently did a seminar for 1 1/2 hours on this topic and we barely scratched the surface.
I am currently writing a book about this issue, and will let you know when it’s ready.
In the meantime, read some of my previous posts under the category of Kids and Computers, and I’ll be posting more about this later on as well.
Comments
aw shucks i’m just giving my opinion because some parents out there think they know best and their child knows nothing.But really, some of us are smarter than you think.Seeing the child’s point of view is nessicary in my view.If you dont see the child’s point of view, you’re pretty self centered.My parents choose not to see my point of view and i cant make them, but I can give my point of view to other parents so you can understand what its like for us.Have you parents told your child to do the dishes and then stopped to think “what does the child feel about this?” ? Thats the point I wanna get to people.What does your child feel about this? Thats what i want parents to understand.Its a different story when its a mess they made or when they’re older at work cause if its their mess, they made it so its their problem.And when they get a job and work, they’re earning out of it.My best tip is if you want your child to work round the house, give them payment, but if they refuse dont force them, just raise the pay a bit higher till they say yes or you cant go any higher.My parents gave me £1 a week for pulling a bin up a half mile track and clearing the table before and after dinner.In the end i refused the offer because my sister got double that for doing the dishes once.In a week she’d earn £14 and i’d earn £1 so i just quit because the pay was too low.
If you think you shouldnt have to pay your children, thats your view and i respect that.But lemme just ask you this, what would the child earn out of it? Not the satisfaction of hard work before you say, cause we dont feel that unless we cloean our rooms.If your answer is something like clean plates for dinner tomorrow, if they didnt do it you obviously would cause you wouldnt want to eat off dirty plates and making your child do that can lead to an illness or them starving cause they’re not eating it.
Jeez i only wanted to say thanks in this comment but i got carried away ^^;; ah well hope it helps
-JY
JY; Why don’t you tell your parents about this site? Being a parent and know how to raise kids right is not easy, in fact, it’s downright hard! Perhaps if your parents will read some of this, it’ll help them. If they are decent people, I think they’ll appreciate the feedback.
BTW, I don’t pay my kids to do things, not for the reasons you mentioned. Read my post here and tell me what you think: http://www.adventuresinparenting.org/2007/10/24/not-a-convenient-babysitter/
There is a good reason why you can write a book on the subject.
As a parent, I don’t claim to have all the answers but I have become more painfully aware of risk in general. We pay insurance, wear seat belts, care about side air bags, check out strangers in the neighborhood, want you to wear a helmet when on your bike, get nervous when you’re are out of sight etc. There’s good reason for all of these things and are justifiably uptight (to a degree).
That said, I make it a point to never forget what it feels like to be a kid. I believe offering measured degrees of freedom and respect breeds responsibility. I know a lot of the lessons I leaned growing up were the hard way and being “taught” the lesson through other means would not have been as meaningful. This is probably going to be the hardest part for me…seeing my son make mistakes that I can anticipate.
I could go on and on but this is such a healthy discussion I would love to see more perspectives.
Rick: Yes, there is a difference between protection and protectiveness.
I think when the child is in a secure home, he can make normal childhood mistakes and has the support of the family to recover and even grow from the mistake.
But if the child grows up in a home with constant stress on him, and he acts out in dysfunctional ways, those are the things that we need to guard against.
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