Adventures in Parenting

Some thoughts came to me today as I am getting sentimental about my children growing up and out. I look back to the time when they were babies, and wish I held them just a little more, complained a little less about waking up at night, and took more time to relax and enjoy them [...]

Can you identify with this?
Excuse This House
author unknown
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there;
Ours boasts of it quite openly;
The signs are everywhere.
For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess,
For toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children,
And we played and laughed and read;
And [...]

What do you remember about your parent’s home when you were growing up? Was it a warm and loving place to come home to? Was there laughter? Did you enjoy being with your family?
Do you remember kind and loving words said to you by your parents? Or was there negativity and criticism, shouting and fighting?
I [...]

My friend asked for advice as a new mom.
There are volumes written on being a parent.  But if I have to simplify it all down to 5 points, because no one likes to read a long post, here is the advice I would give to a mom.
Do these 5 concrete action items everyday. These are [...]

The #1 reason people give for not making new year resolutions is that they will fail to keep the resolution.
It is probably true that many of us will not be able to keep to our resolutions. No need to go into personal examples to verify that fact! But still, I am making a case here [...]

The New York Times article points out an interesting observation. While spanking is now socially unacceptable, shouting has become the new spanking for some parents.
I posted a series on Controlling Our Anger because I know this is a big issue for us parents. It was for me when my children were young.
The New York Times [...]

For those of us in the U.S., no school today! It’s Veteran’s Day.
If you or someone in your family serves or served in the armed forces, I want to say THANK YOU to you for all you do for our country.
While we enjoy our day off, please also take a moment to remember the significance [...]

As a parent, we are continually learning along with our children. Here are 10 things I learned this week.
1. The privacy and a captive audience in a car is a good place to talk to your kids about life.
2. When your kids are upset, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. It’s no time for [...]

I am a substitute teacher, and I think teachers have the hardest job in the world! To be surrounded by 20-30 little kids all day and trying to keep them on task is stressful to say the least. I substitute occasionally, and that’s about all I can handle!
And when it comes to being a parent, [...]

I had lunch with my 85-year-old dad today. It’s a treat for him to get the $5 Subway deal because he would not normally go there by himself. We split a chicken breast footlong on honey oat whole wheat. It came out to $4.99 with the “young man’s discount”, as the cashier phrased it.
Growing [...]

My son is now 21 and pretty much on his own. He rents his own apartment half an hour away from us, and he supports himself financially. I am thankful that he does come home weekly to attend our home church that he grew up in, and he [usually] stays to have Sunday dinner with [...]

Did you ever notice that people never say the present generation of kids are morally better than the previous generation? You never hear anyone say, “Kids today are much better behaved than when we were kids.  Kids now are more respectful and polite than when I was growing up.”
No! We always hear comparison of the [...]

What do you make of what happened with Balloon Boy Falcon Heene?
Six-year-old Falcon Heene was thought to have drifted up in a helium balloon on Thursday.  The authorities were in a frantic rescue operation that involved military helicopters and briefly shut down Denver International Airport. When the balloon came to a landing, the boy was [...]

Are you familiar with the life of Joni Earekson Tada?
A swimming excursion with friends ended up in tragedy for Joni when she was only a teenager. She dove into a lake not knowing how shallow it was. She hit bottom, and broke her neck, paralyzing her body from the neck down.
Joni was a [...]

A missionary friend in Japan recently sent me this update about her son:
[My son] has gone on a Wilderness Camp with his 11th grade class…They hike and camp out in the open, in groups of 10, taking turns leading the group (with adult advisors). I had been praying for no rain, but also that if [...]

I was talking to a friend today who recently found out that her independent 14-year-old daughter used to cry at school in the first and second grade.
“I thought she was perfectly happy! I didn’t even know she was going through a hard time,” my friend said. She felt bad that she didn’t do anything for [...]

Yelling and screaming is not the kind of mom I wanted to be. But somewhere along the way, I’ve turned from sweet mild Katy to Angry Mom.
Every night I would apologize to my kids. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I am just tired.”
Being tired was always the reason, my excuse that I fall [...]

When parents ask me for advice for problems they are facing, they are hoping for the cure-all, a guarantee, a silver bullet that would make them the perfect parent with perfect kids in 3 easy steps.
Of course we know there is no such thing, but we keep hoping.
However, in order to satisfy the need for [...]

It’s one of those traumatic moments that you can remember exactly where you were and what you were doing at the time the tragedy struck.
On 9/11, I was dropping off my daughter at school, standing in front of the kindergarten playground when I heard our PTA President announce to everyone that the PTA meeting that [...]

I just finished helping out with a week of Vacation Bible School at my church. It was tiring but fun.
Our VBS attracts a large number of kids from the community who do not normally come to our church. Guess which kids are the ones that everyone gets acquainted with real fast? Yup, the trouble makers.
The [...]

(Disclaimer for this post: This is addressed to married couples, not for single parents. If you are a single parent, I want you to know this is not meant to make you feel guilty. It’s written to encourage couples to build a good marriage.)
I admit, I am a better mom than I am a wife.
I [...]

While chatting with my mechanic, he mentioned being married for just a couple of years.
“Any kids?” I asked.
“No, we can’t afford them,” he replied.
Do kids costs that much?
In an affluent and commercialized society, we are bombarded by ads for $500 strollers, $50 infant outfits, $5 a jar of “organic” baby food.
At those prices, no one [...]

Any time you get women together, there is always great food and heart-to-heart talking.
This summer, my friends and I have been getting together to go through the book The Frazzled Female, by Cindi Wood.  Aside from the delectable food (despite the fact that we said this is not about the food!), I’ve felt refreshed after [...]

I had the perfect opportunity to lift up my daughter’s spirit and send her off to school with a positive attitude. But instead, a few words from me ruined her day.
My daughter just began high school this summer, taking biology in summer school (fun, I know!).  It has been a challenge adjusting to a big [...]

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson.  I’ll Be There, Ben, ABC, those oldies were my favorites.
Having grown up listening to him as part of the Jackson 5 before the days of MTV and his biggest hit Thriller, I always pictured Michael Jackson as a little kid, just a cute little kid.
But with his incredible [...]

A reader asks, “What do I do with my kids when they complain that they’re bored?”
Does it irk you when kids say, “I’m bored!”?
While substituting a 4th grade class, a girl came up to me during recess and said, “I’m bored!” I looked at her and said, “And your point is…?” My sarcasm was lost [...]

What are your biggest concerns for your children in high school?
My daughter is looking forward to starting high school in September. Since our local high school is rather large with almost 3,000 students, she is concerned about being able to find her classes, navigating the complicated registration process, and keeping up with the academic demands.
From [...]

With my oldest son, everything was a first – first to check out a preschool, if it’s good, the sisters will follow along later. First to enter kindergarten, first to go to one week of 6th grade science camp, first to go through the complicated process of choosing classes for high school, first to write [...]

MOTHERS
Real Mothers don’t eat quiche;
They don’t have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn’t come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don’t want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’
And [...]

I love to read. I just finished reading a book that my sister recommended, Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah, a true story of her life.
Adeline was born in the 30’s and grew up in an affluent family in China.  As the youngest of five, their mother died after giving birth to Adeline. Carrying the [...]

Family Life Today is one of my favorite radio programs. (You can listen to it online, or download the podcast to listen to it any time.)
On the program few days ago on “Launching Your Teen into Life”, Dennis Rainey, the host, said something that resonated with me. 
“…I think there’s a tendency with all parents to [...]

In the past, the society generally reinforced the values we parents try to teach to our children at home. Not so in today’s culture.
We teach our children modesty, the malls are selling tight sweaters and ultra low rise pants.
We teach our children abstinence from sex until marriage, the media shows sex as common as dinner [...]

“The whole idea of caring for children was to keep them from doing stupid, dangerous, wicked things that could not be undone, until they learned enough self-control and good judgment that they could be expected to make their own decisions.”
That did not come from a parenting book. It’s actually quoted on page 226 of the [...]

Parents want the best for their babies. Does that mean having to spend a lot of money on “educational” material such as “Baby Einstein” and “BabyGenius”?
CNN reported a study that shows TV viewing of educational DVDs have no benefits.
According to CNN, “researchers from Children’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, and Harvard Medical School reached this conclusion [...]

Myths often have a bit of truth about them, and that’s why we often buy into them.
The problem with living with myths is that we end up frustrated with expectations that do not become reality. We beat ourselves up for not having a Martha Stewart house, or not having a HGTV landscaped garden, or not [...]

I hope you had a chance to share a few special moments with your love ones.
Here are 14 things I love to do with my family:
1. Watching Mary Poppins while enjoying brownies with ice cream.
2. Playing video games together.
3. A stroll together after dinner under a clear night sky.
4. Staying up late playing a board [...]

Along the lines of Facebook’s 25 Random Things tag, here are my 25 Random Things about parenting:
1. Hugging your children renews your energy, your perspective, and your joy. And it’s free!
2. If you bake brownies, they will come.
3. Make breakfast for dinner once in a while just to change things up.
4. It’s ok if your [...]

The day was hectic.
After I took the kids to school, I met with difficult clients, followed up with a frustrating transaction, and fought traffic coming home.
There was nothing for dinner. I was hungry, tired, and irritated. “Get out of my way so I heat up some leftovers!” I snapped. I shouldn’t even have tried to [...]

It’s still hard for me to believe that my son turned 21 a couple of weeks ago! It is true what they say, children DO grow up fast!
Time crawled when my kids were babies when all I saw were dirty diapers and midnight feedings. But time, though it may have seemed slow, does not stand [...]

One of the best gifts to give your children is a good marriage between you and your spouse. But it’s a common experience that after couples have children, they have less time for each other.
No doubt, children are demanding. We give them our time, energy, and affection. Then there’s nothing left for our spouse.
I am [...]

To all my readers: I want to let you know about the ads you see on this site.
As with most family-friendly sites, my goal is not to get rich.
However, a bit of advertising on the site helps keep this site going, and a lunch out for me once in a while.
I’ve turned down many requests [...]

“Would you want to come home to yourself?”
That question changed my life.
Would I want to come home to hear myself nagging at me?
Would I want to come home to be criticized by me?
Would I want to come home to negativity, pestering, and meanness?
If I don’t want to come home to me, why would my children [...]

What keeps us going when diapers, laundry and Candyland gets old?
To keep the big picture amidst the mundane, this poem published in 1865 reminds us of our calling. The oft-quoted line “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world” is still true today.
Mark this post and come back to it [...]

Are you looking forward to 2009 with anticipation or with anxiety?
I tend to be a nervous kind of person. Two days ago we took our kids skiing at the local mountains; the anticipation kept me up half the night.
When I came across this poem At the Gate of the Year by Minnie Louise Harkins published [...]

I wonder what kind of mother Mary was.
If I was Mary having to be the mother of a Perfect Son like Jesus, I would be smugly bragging about Him to my friends. “My Jesus was already walking before he was born.” “My Jesus always gets His chores done, even without me telling Him.”
But the guilt [...]

“Can we have a puppy for Christmas?”
Doesn’t every child dream of having a pet? A pony? A puppy? A rabbit?
When I was growing up, I wanted a dog, but the closest we got was a fish tank with an array of colorful fish. I developed a fear for fish when I woke up one morning [...]

“Mom, can you help me with my science homework?”
I bring my laptop, my book, and mail to the dining room table so I can multitask while helping my daughter with homework.
“What question are you on?” I asked.

Answer email.
“What question was that again?”
Read a credit card offer.
“What did you say was the question?”
In an effort to [...]

A year ago November around this time, I officially launched this website Adventures In Parenting.
I didn’t quite know what I was getting into when I first started. I didn’t know how to promote the site, I didn’t know how to SEO and all that.
Yet somehow, you found me. I am so glad you did.
I want [...]

While at Kaiser for a check up, my doctor and I chatted about our families.
“Ever since I was little, I always wanted to be a doctor, ” my doctor tells me.
She is a mother of two girls, ages 5 and 7. After her first daughter was born, she cut down her schedule to working four [...]

I was the featured guest post on Moms Talk Network yesterday on the topic of “10 Ways to Rejuvenate in 10 Minutes a Day.” I give some practical ideas that have worked for me, that would help a busy mom gain back some “perspective” in the midst of a busy day.
If you don’t have time [...]

I recently came across the story of Bill Havens. The name is not a familiar one, but he is a hero to me.
In 1924, Bill was set to go to the Olympic games in Paris to compete in the newly added sport canoeing. He was in fact favored to win the gold for the United [...]

“We have two chances at a parent-child relationship.”
This is one of the most significant lessons I learned from Dr. Laura.
I don’t always agree with Dr. Laura, but she got me between the eyes with this one.
As new immigrants to the United States, my parents had to work a lot. They never attended any of my [...]

On a rare occasion when I was cleaning up yesterday, I found a card written by my son in 2003. He was 15 years old at the time.
I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I read his words, written to Mom and Dad: “Thank you for always being there for me, being people I can trust, [...]

I am proud of my son, that despite my mistakes in parenting him – I had no experience with him as my first-born – he is turning out pretty well.
Yes, he’s always been a good student and all those things that moms are proud of in their kids.
But what I love best about him is [...]

I believe it was Gary Smalley who taught that everyone has an emotional tank. We function at our best when our emotional tank is full.
Here’s how it works.
When an emotional need is met, our tank gets a “deposit.” It fills up a bit.
A hug, an affirming word, a listening ear, laughter, good times together – [...]

“Mom, what can I have for breakfast?”
I yell from in front of the comfort of my computer screen: “There’s cereal. You can get it yourself.”
My 12-year-old is certainly old enough to get her own breakfast, why should I disturb my ease?
But there were nagging questions going on in my head:
1. Do I want to answer [...]

A friend who doesn’t have kids said today, “I am going to make sure that when I have kids, it’ll be when I am ready and really want them.”
I thought I was ready when I was 29 and had my first child. Yet, being a parent so changed my life beyond what I could’ve imagined.
Do [...]

Honestly, we parents get rather defensive when it comes to people giving us advice about our kids.

Before my brother had his own kids, he would often give me [unsolicited] advice. “Don’t let your son play with that.” or “You’re spoiling him by doing that.”
My response: Wait till you have your own kids.
And sure enough, [...]

“And in a recent report, ACNielsen listed “Desperate Housewives” as the most-watched television show for 9- to 12-year-olds.”
Something is wrong here!
“Innocence Lost”…This is the kind of thing that just breaks my heart. Where are the parents? Where are those who are suppose to be the protector and nurturer of our next generation? Who is keeping [...]

Do you know that parents suffer from an occupational hazard?
It’s called low self esteem.
We beat up on ourselves whenever our children do anything wrong. If they go wild in the store, or do poorly in school, or won’t eat their vegetables, we feel that we’ve somehow failed as a parent. There always seems to be [...]

“I feel left out when you guys talk. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
As the third and youngest child, my daughter is 6 years behind our second child and 7 1/2 years behind her older brother. At the dinner table, we would be talking about getting ready for college when she is [...]

If you have a 16-year-old, I bet you’ve grown more than a few white hairs worrying about your teenager getting his/her driver’s license. I know I have!
My son was in a car accident recently, thank God everyone was alright. It could’ve been worst. But it’s one of those phone calls you don’t want to [...]

On Sunday morning we woke up early to make breakfast before church. I was cooking up some turkey sausages, my son was grilling blueberry pancakes next to me, my husband was dicing apples to put into our brown sugar oatmeal, and the girls were setting up the table. We sat down to a leisurely Sunday [...]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6P2w5GkXmU[/youtube]
We are exactly like that!
When we look at this, we realize how ridiculous us moms can be! It’s a wonder our kids listen to us at all! We have to laugh at ourselves more often. It puts everything into perspective.

If you think about it, it’s not easy to be a kid.
There’s peer pressure of looking good, talking right, and acting cool. There’s pressure at school to take tests, to not get into trouble, and to not look like a fool.
And when your child comes home, what pressure does he face? Parents yelling? Siblings quarreling? [...]

A baby asked God, ‘They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?’
God said, ‘Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.’
The child further inquired, ‘But tell me, here in heaven I don’t have to do [...]

Three days ago, my 18-year-old daughter underwent maxillofacial surgery – more commonly known as jaw surgery. Her under-bite was protruded to such an extent that it affected her eating and speech as well as her facial structure. We’ve been anticipating this surgery for the past 2 years, waiting for her jaw to completely grow [...]

Looking for good reading material?
Vanessa Van Petten has put together a list of 50 Best Mom Blogs based on recommendations from her audience.
I am honored to be listed among the best moms in the blogsphere!
Forget the laundry. Bring your nursing your baby while you read some humorous and definitely helpful writings from moms.

Whether it’s your hamster, your goldfish, or your family dog, it is not easy for a child to face the death of a pet. It is even harder for a parent to have to explain it.
At one time we had 6+ hamsters and 2 dogs. Now we are down to one rabbit.
We grieved the hardest [...]

How many Gen Xers do you know would choose to deny himself of a big house, nice car, vacations, choose to live on $38,000 and give away the rest of his $200k+ a year salary, choose to live in a lower economic neighborhood to share God’s love?
In our culture of excesses and accumulation of toys, [...]

This thoughtful piece is written by my friend who chooses to remain anonymous. I want to let you know I did not in any way prompt him to write this! I admire this 28-year-old young man for appreciating what many take for granted. Thank you, my friend, for this homage to all parents who indeed [...]

A big bear hug… doesn’t it feel good to give and receive one?
A baby is often held and hugged, but we forget that people of any age, especially our teenagers, and including ourselves, can use a big bear hug at just about anytime.

“Hey mom, I cut myself an apple and ate the whole thing.”
My son has never been known to eat more than a slice, a thin slice, of an apple when he was at home.
Now that he is living on his own at college, he is cooking for himself, and cutting up apples for himself.
“You like [...]

“Why didn’t anyone tell me being a parent would be so hard?”
Let me tell you now – being a parent is HARD.
I was talking to a friend who has a one-year-old daughter. “She takes so much out of me,” he sighed.
Yes, being a parent is hard, but it’s also a matter of perspective.
While parenting is [...]

Have you ever had one of those days where you could barely squeeze in 5 minutes to use the bathroom?
At one time I had my 3 little ones in diapers, it’s a wonder my bladder didn’t explode! Or I could’ve used a diaper myself.
As a busy parent, we hardly have a moment to [...]

What do you think are the top 4 New Year Resolutions made every year?
View any poll on this topic and the top 4 will likely be Lose Weight, Exercise More, Stop Smoking, and Spend More Time with Family.

Did you make one of these resolutions for this year?
Since this site is about being parents, [...]

During recess at the elementary school today where I was substituting, I observed with interest all the children playing in the playground. There were boys playing football and kickball in the field. Groups of kids were playing handball and basketball on the blacktop. Some were on the swings and monkey bars. Many of the [...]

Being at home with little ones can be a lot of fun…and a big drain on you. Nobody can work a 24/7 schedule without a break as a mother does and remain sane.
I’ve been there. Some days, I had to say, “Get me outta here!”
And that’s exactly what you should do. Before you get so [...]

I learned a lesson today from my dirty shower.
I looked at my shower stall with my glasses on last week, and saw mold growing in the corners. It’s time to take out the tile cleansers and spray it down. When I checked a few hours later, the stains were still there. So I sprayed the [...]

Would you agree that you’ve made some mistakes as a parent?
Of course we all know the answer to that question. Everyday I make mistakes that I wish I could do over.
I should have not yelled at my kids. I should have gone to support my daughter’s band competition even though it was pouring rain. I [...]

Photo by kalandrakas
So we all want to be a better parent, right?
I am challenging myself and you along with me to the 30 Days to Better Parenting Challenge.
We do one thing a day for 30 days that will help us become better parents. Sounds doable, doesn’t it?
After 30 days, I hope we would have developed [...]

A friend of mine paid me a huge compliment. It’s not about my hair, or my clothes.
She said, “If you wrote a book on parenting, I would read it.”
I know for a fact that I am not the best mom. Nor do I know all there is to know about raising children. I don’t pretend [...]