As my children are older, I realize that much of our time together is merely “parallel” together. We are in the same room at the same time… each on our own laptops - I’m blogging, of course, my kids are doing homework, or updating their Facebook.
While I think it’s a good thing for us to [...]
I love to read. I just finished reading a book that my sister recommended, Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah, a true story of her life.
Adeline was born in the 30’s and grew up in an affluent family in China. As the youngest of five, their mother died after giving birth to Adeline. Carrying the [...]
Next month I will be speaking to a youth group on the topic of modesty. I wrote a series on modesty, and had the privilege of interviewing Dannah Gresh for a podcast on “Is the Fashion Industry Sexualizing Our Kids?”.
I perused the blogosphere for more perspectives on this topic and came across a few sites [...]
We parents talk too much.
I suppose it comes naturally to us to talk too much.
When we tell our kids “NO” to having a cookie right before dinner and they begin to whine, we feel compelled to explain to them why they can’t have a cookie. When they continue to whine, we escalate our volume and explain [...]
Is abstinence realistic?
This is a common topic of discussion, most recently triggered by Bristol Palin’s statement that “abstinence is not realistic at all.”
If a teenage couple go out on a date, the girl is dressed in a tight low-cut blouse and low-rise pants, and they go see a romance movie, then end up at his house with [...]
According to a survey by Babycenter.com, teaching children manners is “back in Vogue.”
Why?
The top reason, the survey found, moms say that the world has become a more “freewheeling” place and they want to give their children tools to guide them.
The number two reason that moms give for teaching children manners is witnessing bad behavior in [...]
Imagine a child living in the toughest neighborhoods of New York City. How can he have a chance to experience the beauty of nature, to go hiking, to get some Fresh Air?
Now he can, with THE FRESH AIR FUND!
The Fresh Air fund, an independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 [...]
A year ago I wrote a post on 3 ways we can set an example to our children to make the world a better place.
Now more than ever, in our current state of the economy where people are distressed about one thing or another, it is important for everyone of us to do our part [...]
Michael Phelps has been in the news quite a bit lately, unfortunately not the kind of publicity he would want.
The question on everyone’s mind is, “Why would a kid with great accomplishments, talents, and promise want to take drugs?”
Maybe Michael Phelps, like a lot of kids, didn’t think drugs would affect their lives. They think [...]
This is one fantastic speech given by Lia, a 12- year-old seventh grader!
Against the advice of her teacher, Lia chose to take a stand on the topic of abortion in a persuasive speech presented to her school. GOOD JOB, LIA!
It is good to know that we have children coming up in the next generation who [...]
The day was hectic.
After I took the kids to school, I met with difficult clients, followed up with a frustrating transaction, and fought traffic coming home.
There was nothing for dinner. I was hungry, tired, and irritated. “Get out of my way so I heat up some leftovers!” I snapped. I shouldn’t even have tried to [...]
My dad is pretty healthy for being 85 years old. He lives alone, takes care of himself, and can still drive locally in the day time.
I don’t remember my dad being particularly health conscious when I was growing up. We weren’t counting calories or eating organic foods. But I’ve picked up some healthy eating habits [...]
It’s still hard for me to believe that my son turned 21 a couple of weeks ago! It is true what they say, children DO grow up fast!
Time crawled when my kids were babies when all I saw were dirty diapers and midnight feedings. But time, though it may have seemed slow, does not stand [...]
In answer to a reader’s question, “How do I pass our values on our children?”, I posted Part 1 and Part 2.
I conclude this series with some thoughts of what we can do when we feel we’ve failed.
Millie at Christian Values Legacy has an insightful article on “Seven Ways to Tell if Your Child is [...]
In yesterday’s post, I covered Part 1 of a reader’s question, “How do I pass our values on our children?”
Here are some more practical tips on how to pass our values on to our children:
1. Have good reasons for your stand.
“Why is it wrong to have sex before marriage? A lot of people do [...]
A parent asked me, “How do I teach my children good values?”
Actually, teaching values to our children is both easy and hard.
It’s easy because you don’t have to do anything extraordinary or inconvenient. There are no books to buy, no conferences to attend.
But here’s the hard part. You are non-stop teaching your children values, whether [...]
I mentioned here before, my mother-in-law lives with us.
While there are certainly many adjustments, there has also been many benefits.
One of the most important advantage is that my children get to have an intergenerational relationship. Yes, grandma makes them whatever they want to eat. Grandma buys them stuff when we go shopping. Grandma does [...]
“Can we have a puppy for Christmas?”
Doesn’t every child dream of having a pet? A pony? A puppy? A rabbit?
When I was growing up, I wanted a dog, but the closest we got was a fish tank with an array of colorful fish. I developed a fear for fish when I woke up one morning [...]
How do you help your children budget for Christmas gifts for their friends?
What do you do when your children want to buy an expensive gift for a friend they don’t know that well?
Is it ok to say, “You can’t spend that much on someone you don’t know that well.”? Does it sound like I’m teaching [...]
I’m going out to buy the turkey today…and getting ready to feed 20+ people at my house on Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It’s not a huge ado with presents and all that, but it’s enough of an excuse to bake pecan pies and pumpkin bread, get the house cleaned up, and pass [...]
A 3rd grade boy was hating school.
That’s not unusual, except that he used to like school.
What happened?
The child has gotten good grades throughout his short academic career…up until this year. He is struggling in one subject. His nemesis is Math.
Now he is depressed, he is frustrated, he doesn’t want to go to school.
While giving [...]
It’s not just turkey and pumpkin pie.
Celebrating the holidays provides a natural avenue to pass on our beliefs to our children.
I highly recommend reading this book together as a family - Thanksgiving - A Time To Remember by Barbara Rainey
This book tells not only the historical story of the Pilgrims, but it recognizes God’s [...]
My recent participating in Blog Action Day made me realize that if we all do a little, we can accomplish a lot.
Poverty can be an overwhelming issue, but if we each do a little, we can indeed make a difference. One way to do so is to participate with The League.
And it’s a great way [...]
Do you love to shop?? Duh, that’s a rhetorical question!
My daughter loves to go to the mall - Hollister, Anchor Blue, Forever 21 - you know, all those stores with the cute teen fashions. After a while, they all look the same to me!
Have you noticed that the sizes offered are very small? I saw [...]
A female caller to the radio talk show today asked the host, “I’m a virgin and I’m 24 years old. I’m probably the only one! Should I continue to hold out?”
The host answered facetiously, ” Yes, you’re probably the only one.” Then she added seriously, “And Yes, you should hold out.”
Even if the caller was [...]
Dr. James Dobson tells the story of going to the market, and standing in the checkout line behind an elderly woman. She was obviously not all there, and was fumbling around her purse for money to pay for the groceries. It was obvious to the checker and to Dr. Dobson that she had much more [...]
The holiday season is coming up fast - that gift-giving season of Christmas.
Are the images of throngs of shoppers at the mall stressing you out already?
What if I told you there is a meaningful gift you can give, without fighting crowds at the mall?
What if I told you that this gift teaches values, is not [...]
We’ve often heard it said that a child’s self-esteem affects the choices he makes.
It takes a strong self-esteem to say No to drugs, No to sex, No to peer pressure.
Kids need confidence to stand up to the bully, to do what is right when it’s unpopular, and to reach high goals.
What can we do as [...]
Are your children involved in some sort of sports league? Many of my friends have children in soccer leagues and basketball leagues. Some are in tennis clubs, and swimming competitions.
But how about a community service LEAGUE where schools work on community projects and get recognized and connect with other schools?
Yes, there is such a [...]
Walk through the front door of my house and you will see that I am obviously not an organized person.
We have stacks of stuff on every horizontal surface, including the floor…
“Mom, where is my report card from last year?”
“Mom, where is my vaccination record?”
“Mom, when was the last time I had an eye exam?
How I [...]
My mother-in-law lives with us.
You read it right. My mother-in-law lives with us.
My father-in-law passed away of cancer about 10 years ago, and she has been living with us for about that long now.
What is your reaction when you read this? People usually think I am either a martyr or a saint.
But the truth is, [...]
Have you noticed that It doesn’t come off well when we tell our girls to dress modestly?
Yes, we’ve been told we are old-fashion, we are too conservative, we don’t know the current styles, we are out of date, everyone else wears it, etc., etc., etc.
Girls basically dress to be attractive to boys, right? What if [...]
It may surprise you to know that my children do not like to drink soda.
We basically like to drink water. When we go out to eat, we save a lot of money because we don’t order any soft drinks. It’s great.
I didn’t drink soda growing up and never liked it. So when I had children, [...]
“And in a recent report, ACNielsen listed “Desperate Housewives” as the most-watched television show for 9- to 12-year-olds.”
Something is wrong here!
“Innocence Lost”…This is the kind of thing that just breaks my heart. Where are the parents? Where are those who are suppose to be the protector and nurturer of our next generation? Who is keeping [...]
I admit, we live a sheltered life here in the suburbs.
I’m not complaining. We like the relative peace and tranquility of suburbia. On the other hand, we cannot live with our heads in the sand.
In my zeal after reading about the devastating earthquake in China, I went berserk last night and lectured my 12-year-old about [...]
“Mom, don’t throw it away! You can reuse that.”
I rolled my eyes as I fished the empty jelly jar out of the trash. (To tell the truth, I just didn’t want to have more to wash!)
My kids are growing up in a culture much more environmentally sensitive than the way I grew up. To me, [...]
A caller on the radio talk show had this question:
She was very excited to have landed the lead role in a community theater. The problem is, there is one kiss with the leading man required. Her husband objected to her taking the role. What should she do?
When I heard the dilemma, my first thought [...]
A mom asked me, “How do I talk to my daughter in college about sex?”
This mom wanted to warn her daughter not to have promiscuous sex.
As with many subjects that we want our kids to learn, a straight lecture is usually not the best method. Don’t we simply tune out people that we don’t want [...]
This may surprise you, but I read that most teenagers actually rate their parents high on the list of people they trust to give them accurate information about sex.
Yet, we as parents are often embarrassed to talk about sex with our children, aren’t we?
Honestly, my mother never talked to me specifically about sex. It was [...]
Should we teach our teens about using condoms? Isn’t it better to teach them about safe sex since they are going to have sex anyway?
Kara, an abstinence educator, tells it like it is in a letter she wrote to Dr. Laura. It gives us the right perspective about what we should teach our children.
Here is [...]
Imagine this, if you can:
Your daughter gets ready to leave the house in an outrageous outfit showing way too much skin, to say the least.
You reel on her and yell, “You are not going out of the house like that! You look like a slut. No decent boy will respect you.”
Your daughter pauses, looks at [...]
When my girls were little, I hear parents with teenage girls who dress with too much skin showing (that’s the nice way of putting it) say with a resigned sigh, “Well, I can’t control what they wear anymore.” At that time, I thought, “I still have control of what my girls wear for [...]
Male high school teachers have a very tough job. I especially feel for their wives.
When 17 and 18 year-old girls wear tank tops, tight clothes, and short shorts, do you think the men teachers, even the most moral ones, would notice? How can the wives of the teachers compete with these young beauties?
Recently at a [...]
A 20-something year old girl at church said something to me on Sunday that was incredibly mature.
“I decided to stay at this church because when I was growing up at this church, a lot of people here contributed to my growth. Now I want to give back and help other people grow at this church.”
I [...]
How many Gen Xers do you know would choose to deny himself of a big house, nice car, vacations, choose to live on $38,000 and give away the rest of his $200k+ a year salary, choose to live in a lower economic neighborhood to share God’s love?
In our culture of excesses and accumulation of toys, [...]
Do we want to teach our children to make the world a better place?
We can’t all be a Mother Teresa. But we can all make the world around us a better place with just a few simple acts that takes hardly any extra effort from us. When our children see our example, they will [...]
“Hey mom, I cut myself an apple and ate the whole thing.”
My son has never been known to eat more than a slice, a thin slice, of an apple when he was at home.
Now that he is living on his own at college, he is cooking for himself, and cutting up apples for himself.
“You like [...]
In a conversation with my 12-year-old daughter about words that edify, I confessed to her that when I was in the 6th grade about her age, I used the “S” word once, and felt very ugly afterwards.
“What S word did you say, mom?” she asked.
“Well, you know,” I didn’t want to say the whole word, [...]
“I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas!”
“Is that all??”
Did you hear that at your house after all the Christmas presents were opened?
How do we teach our children to have a thankful heart instead of being discontent with what they have?
“I am disappointed that I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas, but I [...]
Would you agree that the computer and the internet are not going away? Would you also agree that usage of the computer will continue to grow, and our children will have more of their lives connected to the internet then even now?
As much as we as a parent may want to control the expansion of [...]
I learn a lot about parenting from my kids. I often ask for their advice.
I asked my 18-year-old daughter why she thinks some of the teenagers at school are precocious while others are not.
She had a good answer: What kids watch on TV influences their behavior.
As I walk around the junior high school, I am [...]
“My kids are so disrespectful when they talk to me. How can I get them to show some respect at home?”
I have to warn you here, you may not like my answer. I wish there is an easy answer to that question. But from what I have experienced and observed, the [...]
Yesterday at church while I was teaching the children’s class, one of the boys was assigned to pass out the snacks. He proceeded to serve the boys who were clamoring for the food.
“Ladies first,” I said.
“Awww!” the boys groaned. “Why should the girls get it first?”
In this day and age of women’s rights and equality [...]
What do you hope your children will be like when they grow up? We want them to have a good education, be financially secure, settle down and have a good family, right?
Have you thought about wanting your children to be compassionate people?
Merriam-Webster defines compassion as “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to [...]
If you don’t want to gain weight, you shouldn’t hang around Mrs. Field’s cookie shop.
If you don’t want to drink, you shouldn’t go to the bar to watch the football game.
If you don’t want to have a materialistic mindset, you shouldn’t hang around the mall.
I made a mistake today. I took my daughter to the [...]
In a small city of Walnut where I live with population 30,000, there is not a whole lot to get excited about. So the annual Walnut Family Festival was a great affair for everyone to get involved with the community. It was complete with a 5K and 10K run, pancake breakfast, parade, games, live bands, [...]
“I didn’t do it!”
“I didn’t steal it, she gave it to me!”
Lying is one offense that I will not put up with. It is not only an affront to the people you are lying to, but it ultimately robs you of your character. Having a good character is the value of being human.
When we hear [...]
Much of real life happens outside the home, isn’t that right?
To help our teenagers in their growth towards adulthood in the real world, we need to help them get a job - a real job, in the real world.
In a previous post, I talked about the benefits of a job. Most likely than not, your [...]
I am generally not a disciplined type of person. I am what my sister nicely termed “fluid.” I don’t do well with setting goals because I lose track, then feel guilty for not keeping my goals.
For people like me, setting very short term goals is a good way slowly ease our way to a more [...]
