It’s summer, your teenagers are probably at home more. If you have children in college, they may have moved back for the summer. Are you experiencing tension in your relationships with living in close quarters? Are you having conflicts over everyday stuff like putting their dishes away or waking up at noon? What’s the best [...]
When my children were little, it was “Mommy, look at me”, “Mommy, stay here with me.” Now it’s “Bye, mom”, “I won’t be home for dinner, mom.” As my children grow older, my relationship with them inevitably changes. With the turn of the clock, they go from total dependence on me to total independence from [...]
It’s a radical idea, but a good one. My daughter’s teacher, the school Christian club adviser, told the kids that her approach to dating is that she hopes to marry her first boyfriend. What did she say?? Let me clarify. She doesn’t mean she’s going to blindly marry the first guy she happens to go [...]
I hear many teenagers tell me, “My parents only care about ________(fill in the blank with “my grades”, “not embarrassing them”, “keeping my room clean”, etc.). They don’t care about ME.” What do they mean their parents don’t care about them?? I bet their parents would die for them. Yet that message doesn’t get across [...]
I noticed that I talk quite a bit about having fun and laughter in the home. I suppose this is because I hear too often from teenagers that home is not a place they want to be. They are bored at home; their parents nag them; they would rather be out with their friends. It [...]
“My 11-year-old is disrespectful, talks back to us, and unmotivated in school. We’ve tried talking to her, giving her rewards and punishment, nothing seems to work. What should we do?” I’ve been answering this parent’s question in the last two posts: Dealing with difficult tween years Our teenager is growing up and away! I’ve stayed [...]
In the previous post, I started to address the question by a parent: “My 11-year-old is disrespectful, talks back to us, and unmotivated in school. We’ve tried talking to her, giving her rewards and punishment, nothing seems to work. What should we do?” Here’s the 2nd part of the answer where I take a different [...]
What are your biggest concerns for your children in high school? My daughter is looking forward to starting high school in September. Since our local high school is rather large with almost 3,000 students, she is concerned about being able to find her classes, navigating the complicated registration process, and keeping up with the academic [...]
It can be hard entertaining smaller children for the summer months but have you ever tried keeping a teenager engaged and entertained? School ends and suddenly, your teen has no idea what to do. Or they waste their days staring blankly at the TV screen, playing video games or even worse, they just get themselves [...]
Early this week, Pete Aldin guest posted a series on Initiation into Manhood/Womanhood: Rites of Passage. I’ve not read too much on this topic, and I think Pete had great ideas. I particularly like the idea of having mentors for our children. A 5th grade boy at church, I’ll call Johnny, has been going through [...]
This is the third and last in the series we started on Monday on Rites of Passage. (Click here to read the first in the series, and click here to read the second in the series.) My guest blogger is Pete Aldin who just took his 13-year-old son through a rite of passage into manhood! [...]
Yesterday, we started a series on helping our children transition from childhood to manhood/womanhood (a scary thought, I know!). My guest Pete Aldin began the series with an introduction to the artificial lifeform – the teenager. He points out that the adolescent angst is often due to a lack of two factors: First, solid mentoring [...]
The title Rites of Passage, sounds strange, doesn’t it? Let me give you a little background. Just yesterday, my sister-in-law asked me for some ideas to transition her daughter from elementary school to junior high school next year. Wow! It’s hard to believe my little niece is going to junior high!! This is a big [...]
Is abstinence realistic? This is a common topic of discussion, most recently triggered by Bristol Palin’s statement that “abstinence is not realistic at all.” If a teenage couple go out on a date, the girl is dressed in a tight low-cut blouse and low-rise pants, and they go see a romance movie, then end up at [...]
Do you find it hard to connect with your teens? Is the “teenage angst” just a stage of life with your teen that you have to live with, or is there something you can do about it? My podcast is an interview with teen expert Aurelia Williams. Aurelia is the author of Real Life Guidance [...]
I just received a couple of great comments from Joey, a mature 14-year-old with some great insights on parenting. You can see his comments on my post on “Get your kids off the computer without nagging” and “Video game addiction.” Joey’s comments are a great lead into my post today. I was interviewed by Aurelia [...]
Last year at age 19, my son had his first car accident – on the freeway, at night, and with a semi-truck behind him! I thank God that no one was hurt. But the car was not worth repairing. This podcast features an interview with Allan Ramsey, CEO and co-founder of www.SafeTeenDrivingClub.org. His mission is [...]
I attended my daughter’s Back to School Night last week. We are blessed to have a great turn-out of parents for such events at the schools. Parent involvement is the number one factor in student success. A friend who is a teacher told me of many incidences when she makes an appointment with parents to [...]
You’ve heard the extremes. Twelve-year-old dies after playing 12 hours of computer games. “Grand Theft Auto” led teen to kill. As parents, we worry over that kind of news, and know that it could happen. But if we tell our kids those incidences as reasons to stop playing computer/video games, they’ll roll their eyes at [...]
Parents: Don’t be afraid to go with your gut feeling. If you see your children spending too much time and obsessing over video games, and you feel something is wrong with that, you are probably right. It’s time to get rid of the games. Don’t second guess yourself: “That’s just what kids do nowadays, isn’t [...]
Is playing computer/video games any worst than wasting time watching TV? Yeah, we agree it’s a waste of time, but is that bad? Do parents need be so concern about their kids playing computer/video games? In Playstation Nation, Olivia and Kurt Bruner explain that watching TV is a passive activity. It serves as a distraction [...]
Gears of War, Guitar Hero, Call of Duty, World of Warcraft… These are just a few among hundreds of video and computer games that kids are playing, often playing late into the night when their parents are asleep. Talk to a few parents and you will soon hear laments about their son spending too much [...]
I can relate to Sue Shellenbarger’s post in the Wall Street Journal blog. Speaking of college students who do not know how to do their own laundry, Shellenbarger says: I too have stressed achievement, adventure and life outside the home with my kids over learning more mundane domestic duties. I don’t like to clean the [...]
The spirit of meanness comes out in the best of us when we can be mean while remaining anonymous. Just look at ourselves when we drive. We feel little hesitancy in cursing other drivers and giving them dirty looks or gestures, while remaining inside the safety and privacy of our cars, Most of us wouldn’t [...]
A caller on the radio talk show had this question: She was very excited to have landed the lead role in a community theater. The problem is, there is one kiss with the leading man required. Her husband objected to her taking the role. What should she do? When I heard the dilemma, my first [...]
A mom asked me, “How do I talk to my daughter in college about sex?” This mom wanted to warn her daughter not to have promiscuous sex. As with many subjects that we want our kids to learn, a straight lecture is usually not the best method. Don’t we simply tune out people that we [...]
Should we teach our teens about using condoms? Isn’t it better to teach them about safe sex since they are going to have sex anyway? Kara, an abstinence educator, tells it like it is in a letter she wrote to Dr. Laura. It gives us the right perspective about what we should teach our children. [...]
Imagine this, if you can: Your daughter gets ready to leave the house in an outrageous outfit showing way too much skin, to say the least. You reel on her and yell, “You are not going out of the house like that! You look like a slut. No decent boy will respect you.” Your daughter [...]
Male high school teachers have a very tough job. I especially feel for their wives. When 17 and 18 year-old girls wear tank tops, tight clothes, and short shorts, do you think the men teachers, even the most moral ones, would notice? How can the wives of the teachers compete with these young beauties? Recently [...]
I am honored to have today’s post written by Margit Crane, M.A., M.S., M.Ed. She is a family relationship coach, speaker, author (HELP! My Teen Has Been Abducted By Aliens!), workshop leader and acclaimed expert on teens, ‘tweens, and their parents. She is the founder of Rock The World Coachinggâ„¢ and is also known as [...]
It’s about prom time – do you dread it or do you enjoy it? I survived the ordeal when my daughter went with a group of friends to her prom last year. I didn’t wait up all night worrying. I give that job to my husband. As parents we always worry about practical concerns of [...]
If you have a 16-year-old, I bet you’ve grown more than a few white hairs worrying about your teenager getting his/her driver’s license. I know I have! My son was in a car accident recently, thank God everyone was alright. It could’ve been worst. But it’s one of those phone calls you don’t want to [...]
I asked my 18-year-old daughter today what is the hardest year in her life, so far. She said definitely 6th grade. She had to adjust to starting middle school, she didn’t have any close friends, and she got her first C on her report card in one of her classes. Middle school years are well-known [...]
Around this time of year, thousands of high school seniors are anxiously sitting by the mailboxes waiting for the acceptance and rejection letters from colleges. Chances are your child will be accepted into more than one college. How do you help him decide where to go? Aside from the practical concerns of cost, location, and [...]
There is a general consensus that teenagers nowadays are materialistic, selfish, and have no worthwhile goals in life. We don’t want our teenagers to go down that road. Yes, there is hope! The Rebelution is a movement started by two teenage boys to challenge other teens to go against the grain of that culture. Their [...]
I was at the high school today teaching a freshmen class. The girls in the class are about 15 years old. But I swear, some of them look like they can be 25! The amount of makeup they wear is why cosmetics is a billion dollar industry. I suppose we have the Paris Hiltons and [...]
A big bear hug… doesn’t it feel good to give and receive one? A baby is often held and hugged, but we forget that people of any age, especially our teenagers, and including ourselves, can use a big bear hug at just about anytime.
Would you agree that the computer and the internet are not going away? Would you also agree that usage of the computer will continue to grow, and our children will have more of their lives connected to the internet then even now? As much as we as a parent may want to control the expansion [...]
I learn a lot about parenting from my kids. I often ask for their advice. I asked my 18-year-old daughter why she thinks some of the teenagers at school are precocious while others are not. She had a good answer: What kids watch on TV influences their behavior. As I walk around the junior high [...]
“How do I keep communication open with my teenagers?†Parents often express that their teens are shutting them out of their lives. They talk more to their friends than to their parents. They might even consult with other adults such as their teachers or their friend’s parents. But they hesitate in coming to their own [...]
“What would you wish your parents would do differently?” I asked this of some 10th and 11th graders in class today. Several of them shouted out, “I wish they wouldn’t be so overprotective.” “I wish they would let me go out more.” “They should let me drive.” I suppose that answer doesn’t surprise me. Every [...]
My daughter moved away to college this fall into the dorms at UCLA. While the school is only 1 hour away by car (without traffic congestion), life without her at home has been an adjustment. Whether your child is one month old or 17 years old, the day will inevitably come when he will move [...]
I highly recommend this book. It’s full of practical advice to parent with confidence. Taking proactive steps to avoid the pitfalls of parenting an adolescent instead of just troubleshooting is what we need today. Have you ever wondered what causes juvenile delinquency? Is your child beyond control, or exhibiting problem behaviors you feel powerless to [...]
Much of real life happens outside the home, isn’t that right? To help our teenagers in their growth towards adulthood in the real world, we need to help them get a job – a real job, in the real world. In a previous post, I talked about the benefits of a job. Most likely than [...]
Practically every parent I talk to have a problem with getting their children off the computer. While the computer can be a great asset for learning and recreation, we can easily think of many ways it can be misused. Too much time on the computer is not only a poor use of time, it also [...]
The typical symbol of a parent is the mom with the pointing finger with one arm outstretched shouting, “Go clean your room!” Some people just have a knack for keeping a clean and neat house. I am not one of those. I don’t blame my children for not cleaning their rooms because I have the [...]
“Can I build a tent in the living room?” Sure! “Can I paint Pokemons on the walls of my room? Go for it! “Can I have peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner? Why not! When my children asked me for permission to do things that are not dangerous, unethical, or immoral, I try as [...]
“Stop fidgeting! Sit nicely to do your homework!” “Don’t stay up so late! Wake up early to finish your work.” “I’ve told you a thousand times! Why aren’t you listening to me?” We tend to expect children to all learn in the same way. We expect them to sit quietly while doing their homework. They [...]
“You always see what I do wrong and get mad at me. But you never see what I do right!” My son said that to me when he was in 6th grade. And he was right. I was very wrong. Here I was, picking on him about cleaning his room, picking up his clothes, putting [...]
“It’s time to get up.” “Get up now or you’ll be late!” “GET UP NOW OR I’LL KILL YOU!” How many times and how many ways do you have to wake your kids up for school? I used to yell, scream, shake them to get them out of bed for school. I get so frustrated [...]
As your children grow older, can you still read together? In my previous post, I talked about reading with your children. But reading out loud together when they reach middle school or high school doesn’t make sense. When they reach their teens, what I do is read alongside with them the books that they read, [...]
